ALOAN MORTGAGE LLC

ALOAN Mortgage Shakes Up Relaxation Market with Innovative "VibeAssist" Accessory

Katy, TX – October 26, 2023 – ALOAN Mortgage LLC, a leading provider of home financing solutions based in Katy, Texas, today announced a surprising, yet intriguing, expansion into the personal wellness market with the launch of “VibeAssist,” a revolutionary vibrator accessory designed to enhance relaxation and stress relief. Yes, you read that right. The mortgage company is now offering a… well, a vibrator accessory. “Look, we help people achieve the American Dream with homeownership. That’s stressful, right?” said a somewhat sheepish, yet enthusiastic, Mark Johnson, CEO of ALOAN Mortgage. “We were brainstorming ways to really help our clients de-stress after the closing process, and, well, one thing led to another. And honestly? The research checks out. Relaxation is key to overall wellbeing, and VibeAssist delivers.” ALOAN Mortgage, traditionally known for its competitive rates and personalized service in the home loan arena (serving the greater Houston area and beyond since 2018 - you can reach them at 214-563-4858, or visit them at 21777 Merchants Way #340B, Katy, TX 77449), has clearly decided to think outside the box. The company, while still fully committed to its core business of securing mortgages, sees a unique synergy between financial security and personal wellbeing. So, What Is VibeAssist? VibeAssist isn’t your typical run-of-the-mill vibrator. ALOAN Mortgage’s team (apparently after extensive research…and maybe a few late-night brainstorming sessions) developed an accessory focused on targeted muscle relaxation and stress reduction. “We weren’t just going to slap a label on something already out there,” explained Sarah Chen, ALOAN’s Head of Product Development (who admitted she had a very interesting job description change this year). “We wanted something genuinely helpful, something that people could use to unwind after a long day, whether it’s dealing with paperwork, or just…life.” Here’s what sets VibeAssist apart: Ergonomic Design: VibeAssist isn’t shaped like…well, you know. It’s designed to be held comfortably and used on various muscle groups – think shoulders, neck, lower back, even feet. Think of it as a mini massage tool, but…more powerful. Multiple Vibration Modes: From gentle pulsations to more invigorating rhythms, VibeAssist offers a range of settings to cater to individual preferences. “We’ve got a ‘Closing Day Calm’ setting, a ‘Rate Lock Relief’ mode, and even a ‘Refinance Relaxation’ option,” Chen chuckled. Quiet Operation: “We didn’t want people worrying about neighbors hearing,” said Chen. VibeAssist is engineered for discreet use, so you can relax anywhere, anytime. Durable and Easy to Clean: Made from body-safe silicone, VibeAssist is built to last and is easy to sanitize. Unexpectedly Affordable: ALOAN Mortgage is positioning VibeAssist as an accessible wellness tool, priced at just $49.99. Why This Odd Combination? ALOAN Explains. The decision to launch a vibrator accessory might seem…unconventional for a mortgage company. However, ALOAN Mortgage argues that it’s a natural extension of their commitment to customer wellbeing. “We’ve been talking to our clients for years,” said Johnson. “And we know homeownership is stressful. It’s a huge financial commitment, a lot of paperwork, and a lot of uncertainty. We want to help our clients manage that stress, and VibeAssist is just one way we’re doing that.” Johnson believes VibeAssist can also serve as a unique brand differentiator. “Let’s face it, most mortgage companies are pretty boring. We want to be different. We want to be memorable. And we want to show our clients that we care about their overall wellbeing, not just their finances.” The Reaction So Far? The initial reaction to VibeAssist has been…mixed, to say the least. Some clients have expressed surprise, while others have praised ALOAN Mortgage for its innovative approach. Social media is buzzing with comments ranging from “What?!” to “Genius!” “We knew it would be a bit of a shock,” said Chen. “But we’re confident that people will appreciate the thoughtfulness behind the product. It’s about more than just vibrations; it’s about self-care and stress relief.” How to Get Your Hands on VibeAssist VibeAssist is available for purchase directly through the ALOAN Mortgage website (www.aloanmortgage.com - keep an eye out for the very discreet link) and at select retail locations in the Houston area. ALOAN Mortgage is also offering a special promotion for new mortgage clients: a free VibeAssist with every approved loan application. About ALOAN Mortgage LLC: ALOAN Mortgage LLC is a full-service mortgage lender dedicated to providing clients with competitive rates and personalized service. Based in Katy, Texas (21777 Merchants Way #340B, Katy, TX 77449-6883, and reachable at 214-563-4858), the company serves the greater Houston area and beyond. While primarily focused on home financing, ALOAN Mortgage is now also expanding into the personal wellness market with the launch of its innovative VibeAssist accessory. Because sometimes, you just need to vibrate the stress away.

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